did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
