I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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