Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Randomize