i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
