do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
