what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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