Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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