They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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