Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
