But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize