Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
