I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
smell my finger.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
