After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
