I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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