I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
