hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
