8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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