and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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