i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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