i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
