I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
