She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I am available for nakedness
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
