I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
