arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
