careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
