i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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