Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Me too!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
