So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize