wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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