I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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