Got a toothbrush?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i just google imaged poop.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
