i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
