Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is it fun? or sober?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
