is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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