Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
