ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He felt like a one man threesome
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize