He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
