i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
