As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
