The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
