HIV tests are more positive than that guy
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Randomize
