Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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