I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
What a dumb baby whore.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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