eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we made out on top of his cat.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
