Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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