Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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