Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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