oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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