What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize