Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize