Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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