Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
