Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
