was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize