Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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