I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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