I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
she smelled like a LAN party
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
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