At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
