Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
