So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
This girl is more easily done than said...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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