She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
