Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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