dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
