He kissed a someone with a penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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