I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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