I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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