Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize