oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
pop tarts are not kleenex
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
