i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
