By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
