You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
