was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
