just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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