girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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