It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
cat food counts as protein by the way
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
