Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
