We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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