You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
