it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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